{"id":1626,"date":"2026-10-11T15:20:23","date_gmt":"2026-10-11T15:20:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.saskiafulcoconsulting.com\/test\/?p=1626"},"modified":"2026-10-15T15:21:24","modified_gmt":"2026-10-15T15:21:24","slug":"the-yes-youre-saying-to-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.saskiafulcoconsulting.com\/test\/en\/blog-en\/the-yes-youre-saying-to-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"The Yes You\u2019re Saying to Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes you say yes and you\u2019re not sure you chose it.
\nToday I want to tell you how you can tell the difference.<\/strong><\/p>\n

There\u2019s a line I said to myself a lot during one stretch of my life, and still use.<\/p>\n

I said yes, but I was choosing myself.<\/em><\/p>\n

Let me tell you where it came from.<\/p>\n

A year ago I said yes to something big. One of those decisions that changes the shape of your days.<\/p>\n

From the outside it looked simple: someone asks, you answer.<\/p>\n

On the inside it wasn\u2019t simple at all.<\/p>\n

I was afraid. I had my insecurities. I had patterns warning me, fairly loudly, that I might be about to repeat something that had already gone badly for me once.<\/p>\n

I said yes anyway.<\/p>\n

And I didn\u2019t say it to please anyone. I said it because saying no would have meant staying where I already knew how to move. Where I knew the terrain, the risks, the exit.<\/p>\n

That yes wasn\u2019t about the other person.<\/p>\n

It was about me.<\/p>\n

About whether I was willing to put myself back in a place where I didn\u2019t control how it would end.<\/p>\n

In psychology, this is called self-determination,<\/strong>
\na theory developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan: doing something because it\u2019s expected of you is not the same as doing it because you chose it. The act can look identical from outside. But what holds the person up afterward is completely different \u2014 which is why a decision made from outside collapses, and the same decision made from within holds.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t change what you do. It changes whether it lasts. <\/p>\n

In everyday life, it\u2019s simpler than that.<\/p>\n

Two people take the same job. One chose it, the other didn\u2019t know how to say no. Six months in, they\u2019re not in the same place. <\/p>\n

Two people stay in the same relationship. One is there because she wants to be. The other because of what comes after leaving. <\/p>\n

Two people begin the same thing. One because it was time. The other because her moment had come.<\/p>\n

They look the same from outside. They aren\u2019t. <\/p>\n

That\u2019s why I sit so long with this question before deciding anything: am I choosing this, or am I accepting it?<\/strong><\/p>\n

And it isn\u2019t a comfortable question, because a lot of the time the answer is the second one. <\/p>\n

I also want to say this, because it\u2019s honest: choosing doesn\u2019t make it easy.<\/p>\n

What I chose a year ago put every one of my fears and insecurities right in front of me, one at a time, without warning. They didn\u2019t disappear because I\u2019d said yes. <\/p>\n

But there was an enormous difference. I was going through them on a road that was mine.<\/p>\n

And those rules are the same everywhere. In a family. With friends. Professionally. At work. <\/p>\n

It\u2019s always the same: choosing something new while something old tells you you\u2019ve seen this movie before.<\/p>\n

The question isn\u2019t whether you\u2019ll be afraid. You will be. <\/p>\n

The question is who you\u2019re saying yes to.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I\u2019m Saskia Fulco.<\/p>\n

And this space is for exactly that \u2014 so every yes you give is yours, and not a polite way of not deciding.<\/p>\n

No pressure. At your own pace.<\/p>\n

If you want to keep going from here, I wrote a short digital book for this: Begin With I Am<\/em>, a practice for seeing where you\u2019re choosing from. You can download it in the ebooks section.<\/a><\/p>\n

And if reading this brought to mind a yes you gave without choosing it, the consulting application is open. I\u2019ll leave it right here for you.<\/a><\/p>\n

For today, just one question:
\nWhat\u2019s the yes you\u2019re saying to yourself?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes you say yes and you\u2019re not sure you chose it. Today I want to tell you how you can tell the difference. 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